Sometimes we worship God but it is not what we really want to do. God is good. We know this to be true. Sometimes in the mundane or even worse the valleys we have to choose to worship God.
In this season of life I have had to fight so much for faith. After losing my son last December I was hopeful. The new pregnancy brought new hope but fear. Then after she was born I experienced so much fear and anxiety. I have fought and fought for my hope and to trust God. Worship was a choice during this season.
I have been able to quiet a lot of my fear but some still lingers. I now also have to choose to worship when the baby is crying, when my older kids are fighting, when the chaos of the day and the mundaneness of life overtakes me.
Sometimes I think Satan's biggest weapon is complacency and the ability to get lost in the everyday. We have to fight for our fist love. We have to search for the passion and beauty that is God. Today I choose to see the beauty in the mundane and the chaos. God has chosen this time in my life to teach me to grow me. It is strangely similar and different to the other times of having a small baby in the home.
In some ways it is better- older kids to help, the understanding that there is a light at the end because I have the older kids to show how fast it goes. In others it is more challenging. I didn't have 3 older children fighting when they were young. I didn't have the mess and disorder that I had to stay on top of. The messes are so much smaller when children are smaller. I see the blessing of each season and the beauty that having all these small people in my home is.
Today I choose to worship God and to see the joy in this season of life. And to cherish this time because it will all too soon be gone.