Backseat Driver

So I know that I am a control freak. Shocker of the century I know, but it's true. It is the area that I have the biggest issue that I have in my walk with God. I have doubt when I don't see two feet in front of me let alone a mile. I tend to question everything, which is good in somethings, but not when it comes to trusting God.

My whole walk with God, I have sat there and told Him when to turn, when to stop, when to put the blinker on, how to do every move that is being made. The funny thing is I am not that bad when an actual passenger- as long as I am in the front seat!!! But in my spiritual life I cannot seem to sit back and allow God to take control.

There are times when I pray that God will give me an answer, if I don't think it is the answer that I thought it should be, I will be rifled with stress. I know that is not God's intent, but it is my sinful desire to control every part of my life. Jesus said, he who give his life will live- that is the hardest part of the walk with Christ, daily dying. Sometimes that dying is harder than other times. Sometimes it means persecution, other times it means waiting on God's timing. God's timing is much slower than mine. Where I live people call slowness "working on White Mountain time". I am convinced that God is working on White Mountain time!!!

This morning I couldn't see how God was working in my life. I was beginning to doubt that what I thought he had brought us here for was not happening. I doubted my own belief in God's direction. However, I spent the last couple days praying- not even remotely about what the answer was, but I prayed. The answer was surprising- it was an answer to a prayer that I had prayed months ago. I am learning that my time is not God's. I am learning to sit back and enjoy the ride. But boy those bumps can hurt!

Words that Hurt

Psalm 19:14 says "May the words of mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord my Rock, my Redeemer,"(NIV version). We are so careful, most of the times with the words of our mouths. We watch our words most days, and maybe not as much other days! And are careful not to hurt others with our mouths or to make Christ look bad because of our language. This may be less true the closer we are to people, and worst of all to ourselves.

That brings me to my point. We might watch our words, but do we watch the meditations of our heart? Maybe we are careful not to say the words that hurt, but do we allow our minds to sit there and think them? Especially when the negative and hurtful words are about ourselves.

I know, myself as a woman, tend to think so negatively about myself. I compare myself to others and rarely do I stack up. If I make a mistake I am the first to condemn myself. But condemnation is not from God. Condemnation is not a place God wants us to be. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, the scriptures say, so we must give thanks to God for every situation. If we are falling short of the mark, we must be quick to repent and forgive ourselves. If the negative talk is about a physical characteristic, we have to remember that God designed us before we were born and He knew what He wanted us to be, we have to be thankful for every gift we have.

If our meditations take us to think negatively on someone else we have to remember that we are to love our neighbor. That each person who wrongs us, (truly wrongs us or imagined wrongs) is a creation of God and someone who God loves. We don't know what God is doing in their lives.

The key is to replace the negative meditations with positive ones. We have to get rid of the negative track playing in our mind and fix our thoughts on the positive things. If we are angered, pray for peace and the person who wronged you. This is a difficult sin to overcome, but I pray that the meditations of your mind are pleasing to God!

The Only One We Need To Impress....God

So I have really had a rough couple of weeks emotionally. I have struggled so much with what others are thinking about me. It just seems like every time I turn around there is another person weighing in their two cents about my life- my clothes, my house, my manners, my hair, whatever. It started to really weigh me down.

It got to the point at one time I started to forget who I am. I am a child of GOD!!!! I am a uniquely and wonderfully made daughter of the king. There are days that I don't feel that way. There are days that I feel like the chamber maid of the King (for those of you who are not into history the chamber maid was the one who used to get the chamber pot -otherwise known as the pee pee pot- in the morning from the bedrooms pre-plumbing. They were the ones who had to go and dump out the morning's urine. )

I often forget that I am a vessel that was created for noble use and that looks different on me that it does on everyone else. It doesn't make me worse or better- just different. And ask Arby's, "Different is good!". I know that I have things that I need to work on about myself, but so does everyone living on this Earth. The thing that I have to remember, that we all have to remember, is that we won't be perfected until Christ returns or we are caught up into Heaven.

The difficult thing is that others seem to expect perfection from us. I know they seem to expect it from me. They can be cruel when perfection is not met. Sometimes the people who are supposed to love and accept you the most are the ones who are the most critical of you. They, quite frankly, do not matter. Not in the scheme of reality. I mean they are important and we have to love them, but it is not their opinion that is important. It is God's. When we fall short, when we don't do things the way that they would want us to, it doesn't really matter as long as we are doing things the way God wants us to.

Each of us is made uniquely. We are all rough around the edges, it is through our trials that we get refined. As we grow and are challenged, we become more like Christ. That is not an overnight process. That is not an instantaneous thing. We slowly mold into "little Christs" or "Christians" (little Christ is what Christian means). When someone picks at a personality flaw, sometimes it is a character defect that God is working on. We can take that and pray about it and allow God to create in us a more refined person. Sometimes that is just a part of our personality that God has made us to be. Just because someone else is annoyed by your shyness, your outgoing personality, your sense of humor or lack there of, doesn't make it wrong or a bad thing. Their dislike is their issue. Who are they to question the way God has made you?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful and I know that full well. Psalm 139:14. We are created just the way God wants us to be. That is what matters. He designed each of us perfectly. And when you are going about your day and someone criticizes you, ask yourself- "Is what I am doing pleasing to God?" If the answer is no- take steps to correct the action. If the answer is yes- then forget what they think and care what God thinks.