Backseat Driver

So I know that I am a control freak. Shocker of the century I know, but it's true. It is the area that I have the biggest issue that I have in my walk with God. I have doubt when I don't see two feet in front of me let alone a mile. I tend to question everything, which is good in somethings, but not when it comes to trusting God.

My whole walk with God, I have sat there and told Him when to turn, when to stop, when to put the blinker on, how to do every move that is being made. The funny thing is I am not that bad when an actual passenger- as long as I am in the front seat!!! But in my spiritual life I cannot seem to sit back and allow God to take control.

There are times when I pray that God will give me an answer, if I don't think it is the answer that I thought it should be, I will be rifled with stress. I know that is not God's intent, but it is my sinful desire to control every part of my life. Jesus said, he who give his life will live- that is the hardest part of the walk with Christ, daily dying. Sometimes that dying is harder than other times. Sometimes it means persecution, other times it means waiting on God's timing. God's timing is much slower than mine. Where I live people call slowness "working on White Mountain time". I am convinced that God is working on White Mountain time!!!

This morning I couldn't see how God was working in my life. I was beginning to doubt that what I thought he had brought us here for was not happening. I doubted my own belief in God's direction. However, I spent the last couple days praying- not even remotely about what the answer was, but I prayed. The answer was surprising- it was an answer to a prayer that I had prayed months ago. I am learning that my time is not God's. I am learning to sit back and enjoy the ride. But boy those bumps can hurt!