Friendship for mommies is such an important thing. Your children and your spouse are not able to meet all your needs. We need to be able to remember the part of us that is just a woman, just a person, just a fill in the blank that doesn’t revolve around our family. Friends are who we turn to when we need advice about being a mom, clothes, meal planning, potty-training, etc.
But I have found that finding friends is such a challenge as an adult woman/stay at home mom. I have a few friends that I talk to from college. But it is mainly a Facebook relationship since we have moved (one lives in New Zealand now, some are still in Phoenix, a couple are in Washington, and one is in Texas. We are all in different places in our lives and really haven’t kept super close. If you have kept in close relationships with your college/high school friends you are definitely ahead of the game.
One way that I quite often meet friends is play dates. Actually most of the friends I have right now I have met through play-dates. Having children is a very bonding thing. We have a lot in common since most of the time it is like having the same career. Another way is through your children’s activities and school. I have met one friend that way so far. It isn’t the best way to meet friends unless you are actively involved in the activities and school and so far I have not been able to be that involved. A third way to meet friends your own activities- church, classes. hobbies, etc.
The hardest part of finding friends while having a family is that you are both obligated to your respective families. A lot of times you want to make sure your husbands and children get along to a certain level also. Not only that but there aren’t always opportunities to hang out and really get to know each other; especially without the kids.
I have found that finding friends can be an awful lot like dating. How soon do I call after we last hung out, how often do we hang out (especially since you are not seeing each other at work or school organically). But it is worth the awkwardness to find those friends and have someone or a few someones who you can hang out with.
Good article! i would definitely add that it's even harder to find true friends. There are plenty of people who are just superficial and don't really care to hangout. It is the very few that you get to know in your life who are truly worth your time - who hold a special place in your heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you! That is a very good point. There is definitely a difference between real, true friends and simply people who you might see from time to time.
Delete