That includes our children. We are supposed to teach our children to obey us so that when the time comes and they have to obey God. We are the authority that they must get used to listening to. If our children do not choose obedience with us, if they are rebellious and hard hearted when they are young- what makes us think that they will be different as an adult.
So many people assume that children's hearts will all of a sudden change one day when they are grown and they will stop the disgraceful behavior. They won't. Short of a Godly intervention. God can intervene in some people and change their hearts, but not everyone. That child who is bullying someone on the playground? Will most likely bully their family and co-workers when they are grown. The child who is rebellious and disobedient to their parents? They are going to rebel against rules and disobey God as an adult. The child with an attitude problem when they are young- it will spill into their adulthood. It is our responsibility as the parents to cultivate in our children a heart of obedience and respect. Teaching them to honor us so when they are able they won't struggle to honor God.
We started noticing that our youngest was having a hard time following directions. His heart was always soft, but he had a hard time with self control and didn't listen to adults. This was getting worse and I could see it leading to a hardening of his heart as he grew. We had tried doing just about everything we could think of for "punishments" but they weren't working with him. That didn't let us off the hook. God would still hold us accountable for his direction in life. We decided to do something that we have never done in our home before - the ol' sticker chart! Yesterday was our first day and I already noticed a change in him. He is so excited to be able to put a sticker on his chart. I even noticed more self control in the stores we had to go in yesterday with amazing things for a small boy- a police equipment store...hello!
We will see how this works, but my hope is that the positive reinforcement will give him a positive association with obeying. If he accomplishes all 8 stickers for the day, right now, he gets a piece of candy. Soon it will be a few days he has to do it and more stickers each day. Then one a week, then he will be expected to obey everyday. If he is disobedient he still has consequences. But there is a reward for obeying also. Please pray this works in his little heart.
I completely agree with your thoughts about obedience. I regularly tell my 3 year old, "You need to obey Momma so you can learn to obey God." All of our children are so different, what works for one doesn't work for the other.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job!
So interesting this has come up in your home also. We were recently at a conference listening to Jon and Jeni Kitna speak on Parenting (an amazing Christian couple, btw, if you ever get a chance to hear them speak, definitely do it). Jon was saying they have always taught their children to say "Yes?" in response to hearing their name called and "Yes" in response to being asked to do something so that when their children are older, their immediate response to God will be "Yes, Lord". We came home, sat our kids down (yes, even the 16 and 17 year olds) and explained the story of Samuel and God calling him and how, in the future, when they are called, we expect their answer to be Yes. We want our children's hearts to be available to God's calling. Love your sticker chart!
ReplyDeleteWe make the children say Yes Mama or Yes Dad or Yes Ma'am or Sir when told to do something, but not just to their name. I will have to think about incorporating that into our repertoire.
DeleteI love that you're getting creative in parenting! So many parents think that one thing will work for all of their kids and it's totally not true! Every kid is different and different things work with each one. I pray for soft hearts for my boys and direction for me to know how to grow them up!
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful prayer for your children. I pray similarly
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